


compass points you anywhere closer to me

by anbethmarie



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Marriage Proposal, and an innocent darling, anne has low self-esteem and gilbert keeps trying to show her she's wrong, anne is insecure, anne keeps shivering but i would too if i got anywhere near gilbert, anne knows she's gone over gilbert, gil is determined and chivalrous, gilbert is confused by anne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-24 09:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15627375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anbethmarie/pseuds/anbethmarie
Summary: As Diana's engagement party draws to a close, Anne realises it's not just being a bride that she's dreaming about - it's being a particular person's bride.That person is never far from Anne's side; also, he is very dark, sad, and handsome.





	1. we can keep our secrets buried underneath

It was a fragrant, hazy evening in late July. From where she sat on the small wooden seat at the far end of Mr Barry’s orchard, nineteen-year-old Anne Shirley could hear the distant hum of voices and the subdued strains of music coming from the pavilion erected in Diana’s garden for the express purpose of housing her and Jerry Baynard’s engagement party. It had been a perfect day – the weather lovely, the party a success, Diana glowing and Jerry dazed with their new-found happiness as an officially affianced couple.

The sight of Diana and Jerry holding hands, whispering in each other’s ears, and exchanging quick, stealthy kisses had caused Anne throughout the day secret pangs of jealousy, generated by the depressing belief that she would never get to experience the joy of these innocent little caresses herself. She tried her best not to be bitter about it on a special day like this, but the past twelve hours, which she had spent smiling, exchanging pleasantries, and running around making sure everything went to plan, had taken considerable toll on her stock of cheerfulness. Who, after all, would want to marry her, an orphan of unknown origins, with a past full of social blunders and not so much as a broken penny to her name?

Anne was an ambitious, bright girl, who knew perfectly well that there was much more to life than marriage, and that a husband-less existence could make for a rewarding professional career. However, she still remained a true romantic in her heart of hearts, and at the moment she couldn't help feeling she would gladly switch places with Diana and have her future mapped out for her as the wife-to-be of – whom? Jerry Baynard?

She tried to imagine she was in Diana’s place right now, there, on the wooden dance floor; only, however hard she tried, she couldn’t see herself swaying along to the lilting music in the arms of Jerry, whom she had practically come to consider a brother at this point. No – the only face which she could picture looking down at her was the face of a person with a set, square jaw, unruly dark curls, and hazel eyes which seemed always to light up as he caught her looking back at him; in short, the face of Gil—

‘No!’ groaned Anne impatiently, pressing the palms of her hands to her eyes, as though that could make the vision go away. ‘Brain, stop it! Ugh...’ She remained in a hunched-up position, feeling that she would very much like to be able to just crawl into bed and burst into tears. 

‘And it’s all his fault, too! Otherwise I wouldn’t be feeling so— so utterly miserable! How I wish I had never ever met him! Aghr!’ Anne realised she was being ridiculous, complaining out loud in an empty, dark orchard, but the fact that it wasn’t just anyone she wished she was engaged to made her angry with herself and resentful towards the unfortunate originator of that anger. 

Suddenly, someone put a hand on her shoulder. She had not heard any footsteps, and this unexpected touch made her jump up in fright and let out a small shriek.

‘Oh my God, Anne, I’m so sorry!’ Gilbert tried to touch her shoulder again, but she flinched away. ‘I swear I didn’t mean to frighten you. I thought perhaps you weren’t feeling quite well-‘ he stopped, for Anne lifted her head abruptly and he saw her eyes glint into his sharply through the gray, humming dusk. There was a mixture of emotions within their pale depths that was at once unusual and frightening – she looked like she was very angry with him, but at the same time as if she was about to burst into tears. ‘Are you all right, Anne?’ he asked tentatively, leaning towards her a little so as to be able to see her face better in the gathering dusk. 

Anne shivered slightly, and this seemed to shake her out of her trance; she smiled wearily at Gilbert, wondering internally whether Heaven decided to try her to the uppermost limits of her powers of self-control. And anyway, how did he find her here? Was he now granted the ability to her hear think about him and locate her whereabouts on that basis? Did he really have nothing better to do than intrude upon her solitude and ask her if she was all right? Like hell she was – but only in some parallel universe, where she was beautiful and desirable and interesting enough to be able to punish Gilbert Blythe for making her feel so much and so incoherently about him – something which was impossible in the real world, where she was just an ugly orphan and he was the most mature, cleverest and most handsome young man in town.

She wished she could say all this out loud, like she would if she still was the hot-headed little fool of thirteen who once smashed his infuriating face with a slate. But over the years, Anne had learnt to keep both her temper and her tongue in check – at least partially – and she saw now that her best course would be simply to become as uncommunicative as possible and thus force Gilbert to give up taunting her at least for this one evening. 

‘I’m just tired,’ she mumbled accordingly, turning around and collapsing back down onto the seat so as not to be forced to look at him. Why didn’t he just go dance with Ruby Gillis? Hadn't he seen how lovely the golden-haired girl looked in her pink muslin dress? She had been going on about how much she hoped Gilbert would ask her to dance tonight for the past two weeks. Couldn’t he tell how besotted about him Ruby was? Where were his eyes?

Gilbert’s eyes were actually on Anne, a fact of which she was uncomfortably aware. She propped her chin on her hand and sat staring at the ground. Without raising her eyes, she felt Gilbert sit down beside her, and internally cursed the smallness of the seat. Involuntarily, she shivered again, and tried to move as far away from him as she could in as inconspicuous a manner as possible. In the gathering dusk, every movement, every gesture – every breath even, it seemed to Anne – was endowed with some special significance, as though it happened in a world of its own, with neither past nor future. 

‘Are you cold?’ asked Gilbert a low voice. It seemed to him that the figure sitting next to him was not Anne at all; her silver dress seemed to shine in the dusky air. He felt a strong urge to gather her to him and thus make sure she was not going to turn into evening mist and disappear from his world forever. 

Anne shook her head, realised he would probably not have seen the gesture in the gathering darkness, and replied in a colourless voice, ‘No.’ Her whole body was so tense she wondered how long it would be before she collapsed utterly with the effort it took her to stay pulled together. Gilbert, snapping out of his reverie and sensing the wariness of her whole attitude, realised it was no good making her uncomfortable like that. It seemed to him he was never getting anywhere with Anne. To all appearances, she was genuinely scared of him right now, and he didn’t want her to feel anything but safe around him. And yet, this play pretend at being nothing but friends was driving Gilbert insane. Anne was driving him insane.

‘I suppose it must have been a drain on your energies, taking care of this party on top of studying and minding the usual household affairs,’ he remarked conversationally, his tone neutral enough to make Anne believe that the dangerous moment had passed and that it was safe to raise her head and look at him again. 

Still, it was startling to see his face so close to hers. The dusk had rendered its outlines slightly blurry, so that he and the whole setting seemed strangely unreal. Anne had to repress the urge to put out her hand and touch his cheek in order to see if it was really there. Instead, she sniffed dismissively. 

‘It wasn’t a drain really – you could hardly call the few insignificant things Marilla allows me to do around the house chores; they’re more like distractions. Studying isn’t so hard when you know there’s a clear purpose in doing it. And preparing this party,’ she waved her hand vaguely in the direction from which the lazy strains of the orchestra were drifting, ‘was pure pleasure. After all, I did it for Diana.’ 

‘But you’ve admitted you’re tired just a second ago,’ remarked Gilbert, and she could feel his eyes boring into the side of her head. 

‘I am – of the party itself. I admit it freely, you see,’ she laughed uneasily, shot him a quick glance, and turned away again. ‘I’ve had hardly any sleep last night, and I’ve been smiling so much today it feels as though some string in my face has broken from overuse. And I don’t really like crowds.’ 

‘Then you wouldn’t want to have an engagement party like this thrown for you?’ his voice as he asked the question was strangely impersonal, but it was the question itself which made Anne groan internally and shift uneasily in her place. She forced herself to smile the artificial smile she’d been wearing since morning, and looked towards where Gilbert’s eyes were shining in the dusk, thankful for the fact that he could not possibly see how red her face was. 

‘Luckily, it’s not something I’m ever likely to have to worry about,’ she replied in a would-be carefree voice. ‘Old maids don’t have engagement parties.’ 

Anne had expected Gilbert to laugh her remark off. Instead, she felt him sidle closer to her – a fact which made her want to get up and run away so much that she had to physically force herself not to do it – and then all thought disappeared from her head as she felt the warmth of his hand on hers, which were folded in her lap. 

‘Anne, may I ask you a very impertinent question? You don’t have to answer it, but you have to promise you won’t get angry with me.’ His voice was low and serious and Anne felt her throat go dry. She nodded mutely, and then breathed out in a voice which didn’t sound like her own, ‘Go on.’ 

Gilbert knew that what he was about to say was very likely to make Anne fly out in a temper and tell him off for interfering with what was none of his business. But, he told himself firmly, it was his business, and he had to know. It was his business to know before he said anything more. And had to say something or else he’d go demented before he knew it.

‘Are you sorry Diana and Jerry got engaged because- because you have feelings for him?’ 

The combined effect of feeling the warmth of Gilbert’s hand permeate her whole body, realising that he wasn’t about to ask her what in the frayed state of her nerves she had for a moment been crazy enough to imagine he would, and being overwhelmed by relief and regret simultaneously, caused something within Anne’s overwrought brain to snap, and she found herself laughing in a disturbingly hysterical way. She felt tears slide down her face, and was more glad than ever that by now it had got so dark that she and Gilbert were rather sensing than seeing each other’s presence. By a great effort of will, Anne swallowed back both the unnatural laughter and the hot tears, and replied in a strained voice:

‘I’m sorry for this outburst, but I- Jerry has for a long time now been like a brother to me.’ She swallowed hard and continued, withdrawing her hands from beneath Gilbert’s and thus forcing him to take it away. ‘I love him very much – the way a sister loves a brother. I know he is a good, honest person, and I am beyond certain that he will make Diana a wonderful husband. That’s all there is to it.’ 

By now it was so dark that Gilbert’s body was just a shadow among shadows. Slowly, only half-realising what she was doing, Anne raised her hands to her face and breathed in the scent of his skin that had rubbed off on them. Perhaps if she sat still enough they might stay like this forever, there, in the dark, without having to talk about anything anymore and without being ever again obliged to account for what they feel and say and do, she thought, listening to the rhythmical, soothing sound of Gilbert’s breathing so close to her. As soon as this idiotic thought had crossed her mind, Anne shivered more violently than ever before. 

‘Anne, you must be cold in this flimsy thing you’ve got on,’ Gilbert’s voice was a mere whisper, making Anne tremble again in spite of her best efforts to the contrary. By now, she was all goosebumps and baited breath. She felt him fumble beside her and then his scent filled her nostrils as he wrapped his jacket gingerly around her shoulders. Then she felt his fingers tug lightly at her elbow. 

‘Let’s go and find a lantern, and then I’ll walk you home,’ he said, steering her carefully along the path between the bars of black that were the trees. 

Anne only trusted herself to look at him again when they had come within sight of the pavilion. She felt Gilbert relax his grasp on her elbow and turned to face him. He smiled a light, noncommittal smile, but his eyes were serious. They stood looking at each other silently for a moment. Then Anne took off the jacket and held it out to him in an outstretched hand. 

‘You’ll be cold,’ he said, making no move to take it back. 

‘I can’t walk in there wearing your jacket and you know that, Gilbert.’ She noticed with relief that she sounded almost perfectly normal again. ‘It would give Mrs Lynde a heart attack. It’s bad enough we’ve stayed away from the party all alone for so long.’ 

‘There is no reason for anyone to worry about your staying away with me, Anne. You know that, right?’ he queried with sudden urgency in his voice. Surely, Anne knew that however much he might want to, he would never do anything against her will. For God’s sake, why did it feel like they were talking at cross purposes all the time? 

Anne felt like she might cry with – she hardly knew with what: temper? disappointment? relief? Instead, she felt her mouth form the hateful insincere smile once again, and said coolly, her eyes fixed on Gilbert’s: ‘Of course there isn’t. We are such old friends. But I can’t quite afford to break the rules of propriety as thoughtlessly as I did when I was just a schoolgirl, Gil.’ 

‘Anne—‘ against his better judgement, he reached out to snatch the jacket from her, flung it carelessly away to the side, and grabbed her hands in both of his. He hardly knew what he was doing really, he just knew that he had to make her understand somehow how much she meant to him, and his irrational brain made him think that if he could only touch her, hold her, kiss her, do something, anything, it would make things fall into place without the need of either of them saying another word. Words were no use between them anyhow, not the way things were now. 

He tugged at her hands and she took a step closer, feeling like a person in a dream. Against her will, her cold fingers closed tightly around Gilbert’s warm ones. She closed her eyes, the one thought running through her head being ‘please, please, please’, although she hardly knew what she was asking for and of whom. 

‘Anne!’ cried Diana’s voice behind her back. Anne’s eyes snapped open and she shot a quick glance at Gilbert’s face, which was all deep shadows in the dimmed light streaming from the pavilion. The expression in his eyes made her lips tremble; she instantaneously let go of his hands as though his touch burnt her skin, and spun round to where Diana stood with a puzzled expression on her lovely face. 

‘Is something the matter, Anne? Where have you been all this time?’ she asked with raised eyebrows. ‘Don’t you feel well? You are terribly pale.’ 

‘I am perfectly fine, loveliest of betrothed Dianas,’ Anne replied, taking her friend by the arm and steering her away from where Gilbert stood with his hands hanging stiffly by his sides. ‘I just have a bit of a headache, that’s all. Would you mind terribly if I left?’ 

‘But you can’t possibly walk all the way to Green Gables alone in this darkness,’ expostulated Diana, still regarding Anne with a furrowed forehead. ‘Perhaps...’ she hesitated, turning round to where Gilbert was now bending down to retrieve his discarded jacket from the grass. 

‘I won’t go alone,’ Anne chirped, catching sight of a burly figure hovering in the periphery of her vision. ‘Moody’ll walk me. Won’t you, Moody? You can write it down on the ‘noble deeds’ side of the sheet after you’ve got home yourself.’ 

As Anne and Moody set out towards Green Gables, the first so deep in thought that she barely knew where she put her feet and the other swallowed up by the exhausting task of managing not to trip up and set fire to the surrounding countryside with the lantern he carried, Gilbert spun round on his heel slowly and headed in the direction of his own house, trying desperately to make sense of all the things which had happened during the past half-hour. And, perhaps more importantly, of the words he had overheard Anne utter in the orchard. If not Jerry, whom did she mean? 

Gilbert was a patient person on the whole, but Anne had always been an exception to the general rule where he was concerned. He was resolved to make her tell him tomorrow, and then to make sure that whoever it was would be made responsible for his actions. No one, he decided, had the right to make Anne Shirley miserable.


	2. wildflowers crushed between your fingers (part 1)

Exhausted by both outer and inner turmoil, Anne slept like a child that night, without dreams and without waking up once. When she awoke next morning she wondered for a while whether the whole Gilbert situation of the evening before might not have been just another figment of her imagination. It seemed impossible, in the bright, fresh summer morning to believe that not twelve hours ago he had held her hands in his and she had shivered because of his proximity. 

I was being hysterical and ridiculous, Anne thought, braiding her hair into a long plait in front of the mirror and frowning unhappily at her lustreless skin and puffed eyes. Gilbert must have thought she was out of her mind. She had behaved like a fool. He as good as told her he was not interested in her and never could be. 

‘Anne Shirley-Cuthbert,’ she admonished her reflection, shaking a warning finger at it. ‘Last night you let yourself get carried away with ideas which ought never to have entered your head in the first place. Consequently, it will be in your best interest to pretend that that half-hour never happened at all, and be as reasonable and keep as quiet around you-know-who as possible.’ 

With a resigned sigh, Anne went downstairs to help Marilla prepare breakfast. 

*** 

All around was glorious, shimmering peace and quiet, and the distant tolling by the church bells of the hour – was it five in the afternoon already? – only added to the feeling of contentment Anne felt permeate her. She held her hand out to the golden afternoon sun, its light falling in chequered rays onto her face through the branches of the willow tree under which she lay. 

‘God is in his heaven,’ she said quietly, breathing in the scent of the summer afternoon, ‘all is right with the world.’ She stretched herself luxuriously like a cat, letting out a little yawn. Soon it would be time to go back and help Marilla prepare supper, and she still hadn’t picked the flowers in search of which she had ostensibly set out. She forced herself to sit up straight with a sigh, and almost fell back again when she saw Gilbert Blythe gazing at her from under a nearby tree with an unreadable expression on his face. His darned, infuriatingly good-looking face. 

In spite of herself, she felt blood rush to her cheeks. 

‘It isn’t manners to sneak up on people and listen in on private conversations,’ she remarked dryly, getting up and dusting off her skirts. ‘You know that eavesdroppers only ever end up hearing unpleasant things about themselves.’ 

‘I should hope that if you ever have something unpleasant to say about me, Anne, you will say it to my face so that I can mend my ways accordingly,’ he said, smiling broadly and walking over to join her. Anne tried her best to glare at him, but suddenly a sickening, panicked feeling seized her. She had been saying unpleasant thing about him only yesterday. Out loud. To herself. And chances were he had been near enough to hear. Had she mentioned his name? Lord, what was happening to her? What was there to work oneself into a state about? Whatever did it matter what Gilbert Blythe had or had not heard? She had resolved to be cool and reasonable around him, and cool and reasonable she would be. 

‘Did you arrive home safely yesterday? As in, didn’t you get lost in the woods or have to haul Moody out of a ditch or something?’ he asked in a teasing voice, leaning against the trunk of the willow. 

‘Unlike some boys his age, Moody Spurgeon is very pleasant and well-behaved company, thank you very much,’ Anne replied haughtily, wandering over to the other side of the tree and picking at the little curled-up green leaves. 

‘Oh, Moody’s all right,’ chuckled Gilbert. ‘A chap can trust him with a girl.’ 

Now what was that supposed to mean? Was he bent on making every moment they spent together awkward for her? 

‘Did you ask Ruby to dance with you after I had left?’ she retaliated, and regretted opening her mouth at all before the words were well out of it. She glanced over at Gilbert, just in time to see him look at her with a puzzled expression. Beating herself up mentally, she quickly averted her gaze and plodded on, ‘It’s just that she was so bent on it, you know.’ 

‘Bent on what?’ Gilbert asked stupidly. What on earth was Anne talking about? What did Ruby Gillis have to do with anything? Was Anne really going to pretend nothing had happened between them last evening? Did she expect him to pretend he hadn’t spent the whole night thinking about the way he had felt her shiver as she sat next to him? His fingers were still itching from their contact with hers, and he was as good as resolved never to wash that blasted jacket again. Was this scoffing girl – to whom, it seemed, it was a matter of total indifference whether he was around or not – really the same Anne as the trembling shadow-like creature of the night before? Had he imagined it all? Well, if he had, there was nothing for him to do but leave, for he doubted his ability to keep sane in a place where a casual stroll in the woods meant stumbling upon Anne lying on the ground with her clothes all dishevelled and stretching her slender limbs with that maddeningly tantalising movement-- 

He shook himself up mentally and asked, in a harsher voice than he had meant to use, ‘What’s Ruby got to do with it?’ 

‘Well,’ Anne had by now gathered a handful of leaves and was occupied in strewing them around. ‘She had wanted very much to dance with you, and therefore I was hoping you might have given her the chance to.’ 

‘And I had wanted very much to dance with you, Anne. How about that?’ the barely suppressed annoyance in his voice startled Anne into turning around and looking at him with surprise. 

‘I-I suppose you should have thought about it yesterday,’ she stammered, the darkening look in his eyes making her drop her gaze. 

Perfect. Now he had frightened her again. But why was Anne behaving as though she had no idea what he was trying to say? Did he have to spell it out for her? Very well then, he would. She’d had it coming.

‘I was going to, but you ran away.’ He folded his arms across his chest in a belligerent gesture. His words made a sudden wave of rage burn in the pit of Anne’s stomach. 

‘Ran away— You know very well I was feeling ill and tired. I wasn’t myself. I have resolved to put the events of yesterday evening out of my mind, and I advise you to do the same, Gilbert Blythe. Good afternoon to you,’ she added with venom, turning around in the direction of the road to Green Gables.

Before she had taken two steps, Gilbert’s fingers closed tightly around her wrist and she felt as though they were burning into her skin. 

‘You’re hurting me, you idiot!’ she snapped, trying to free herself from his grasp. ‘I. Said. Let. Go.’ she gasped, turning around to face him. Blood was thumping loudly in her ears and she felt very much like doing something ridiculous, perhaps biting his arm, just to make him let her go. ‘For God’s sake, Gilbert, what is wrong with you?’ she cried, conscious that she was acting hysterical, but it was just too much, the way he looked at her, as though he was about to – about to – 

Anne’s gaze flitted to his lips. They looked so, so soft. So full. It would be the easiest thing in the world just to close that distance – a matter of mere inches now – between him and her and to finally, finally learn if they really tasted as perfect as they looked... 

Anne looked back up into his eyes, and her whole expression, a moment ago so indifferent, so hostile even, was now turned completely unguarded, so that she seemed to him to look more innocent and beautiful than ever. Her pink lips were slightly parted, and her eyes were two limpid pools of gray. Gilbert felt all his self-control leave him. His mind went fuzzy, and he did the only thing which it seemed possible and reasonable for him to do at the moment. 

He bent his head down and pressed his lips to hers. 

As far as he was consciously expecting anything to happen, he was expecting Anne to push him away and perhaps slap him and tell him he was a hateful, deceitful person for taking advantage of her friendship like this. All Anne did, however, was let out a small, surprised ‘oh’ and bring her free hand up to the short hair at the nape of his neck. This acted on Gilbert like spark on cinder. His left hand still gripping Anne’s wrist, he put his other arm round her waist and pulled her flush against himself. Anne sighed again, and her nails grazed his neck softly. Her lips relaxed, and he tentatively pushed them open with the tip of his tongue. She pressed herself even closer.

Gilbert groaned deep in his throat. The sound made Anne’s knees buckle and she thought, with the tiny fragment of her brain which was still capable of reasonable thought, that she was going to fall to the ground. Sensing this, Gilbert pushed her quickly back a few steps, their lips and tongues never leaving each other, until her back was pressed against the trunk of the willow tree. She was like silk unravelling in his hands, and it seemed to him that he would never be able to stop kissing her. Urged on by a desire there was no arguing with, he pulled delicately away from her lips and laid a trail of soft kisses down the line of her jaw and then further on along the cool skin of her throat. Anne’s breath was coming in short, almost choked gasps. When Gilbert’s lips reached a point next to her collarbone where a tiny blue vein was pulsating and he sucked on it ever so lightly, she moaned quietly and pulled his mouth back up to hers.

I have died and gone to heaven, thought Gilbert. He felt he never wanted to stop.

Just as this thought crossed his mind, he heard Anne mumble something inarticulately against his hot lips. What was she saying? Why was she saying anything? It was not necessary or even desirable to speak a single word anymore – the only thing to do was to keep on kissing her like this...

‘Gilbert, stop,’ Anne breathed, ‘we must stop.’


	3. wildflowers crushed between your fingers (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's all downhill from here, guys.  
> it's probably too long & soppy.  
> enjoy :D

The word had no meaning in itself to him right now – no word had – but his subconscious knew that when Anne uttered this particular combination of letters it was imperative that he stopped whatever it was he was doing. Accordingly, he managed, he barely knew how, to disentangle his lips from hers, and, breathing in the scent of her skin one last time, he drew away enough to be able to look her in the face. 

Her lips were swollen, her eyes so wide and bright they seemed to take up half of her face, and there were great patches of red in her cheeks. For a moment, they stared at each other unblinkingly. Then Anne slowly brought the fingers of her right hand up to her lips. 

The gesture and the look on her face – as though she were a wild animal about to up and run away – made Gilbert’s brain finally pick up its usual work. 

‘Anne,’ he whispered feverishly, ‘will you be terribly upset if I tell you that I think I am – I know I am – madly in love with you?’ 

Anne turned pale. Two great tears brimmed in her eyes and slid slowly down her cheeks. Gilbert’s heart gave a terrible lurch. 

‘Don’t cry, sweetheart,’ he pleaded quietly, his eyes never leaving hers. ‘I’ll do whatever you say, only don’t cry. I can’t bear it if you do. This is such a happy, happy moment.’ 

His words, however, only caused her tears to come more quickly. She wasn’t crying aloud – she wasn’t even sobbing – she just stood perfectly still and terribly pale, her eyes boring into his and those awful tears rolling silently down her lovely face. Was it possible it had all been a terrible mistake on his part? She did kiss him back, didn’t she? 

‘Anne, I’m sorry,’ he brought a hand up to cup her cheek. ‘Just say a word and I swear I’ll never come near you again. Only say you forgive me.’ 

This, finally, brought her features back to life. She closed her eyes and turned her head a little to the side, leaning into his hand, and he felt her lips brush the inside of his palm.

‘Anne—‘ he practically croaked, unable to make any sense of her reactions. ‘Say something.’

She turned her tear-streaked face to him again, and Gilbert felt a wave of relief wash over him as he noticed the incipient little smile lurking in the corners of her reddened eyes. 

‘Did you mean it, Gil?’ she whispered shakily. 

‘I always mean everything I say to you,’ he replied promptly, not sure which particular part she was talking about. 

Now she smiled for real, and his heart beat in slightly more normal tempo again. He stroked her cheek lightly with his thumb. 

‘But about – about...’ Anne sighed softly, leaned in, and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. ‘When you said you were in love with me,’ he felt her shiver against him, and her cheeks went red again. ‘Is that true?’ 

Could she seriously doubt it? Had he not made it so obvious that everyone in Avonlea had known for the past two years at the least – everyone except, oh irony, Anne herself?

‘I do love you, Anne,’ he said, cupping her face in his hands and looking her steadily in the eyes. ‘I think I have always loved you, and I am sure I could never love anyone but you. You must never, ever doubt that it’s true. It is and always will be.’ 

Anne’s whole face crumpled up and she started crying again, only more violently this time. She clutched at Gilbert’s shirt and pressed her face against it, her shoulders shaking.  


‘Anne, please, just let me get this right,’ he said slowly, his hands stroking her back helplessly as she sobbed into his clothes. ‘There have been enough misunderstandings between us to last a lifetime, and from now on I want us both to be absolutely honest. Why are you crying?’

Anne looked up, and he was relieved to see that, although the tears were still there, she was now shaking with laughter, not sobs. 

‘I am crying with happiness, Gil,’ she whispered, and he tightened his hold on her waist. ‘For the first time in my life, I think. I am so overwhelmingly happy I’m afraid I’ll go mad.’ She rose on her toes and pressed her lips to the straight line of his jaw, like she had wanted to all those times she had seen him clench it. The feeling of being finally able to do this was so exhilarating that it made her let out a small giggle. 

‘What is so funny?’ asked Gilbert, who was standing very still, holding his breath, thinking all this was too beautiful to last, and at the same time filled to the verge of tears with joy at the thought that it just possibly might last, all the same. 

‘The thought that I’ll be able to do this whenever I want to,’ whispered Anne, showering his jaw and throat with a succession of small, feather-like kisses. 

‘Whenever you want to, Anne?’ he chuckled quietly. ‘Weren’t you the one lecturing me about propriety just yesterday? Refusing to let Mrs. Lynde see you wearing my jacket, and so on,’ he teased, even though he barely knew what he was saying – the feeling of Anne’s smooth lips on his heated skin was just so overwhelming. 

This, to Gilbert’s infinite regret, made Anne pull away from his face. She looked him straight in the eyes with an expression that was at once thoughtful and embarrassed. 

‘I was so angry with you,’ she said reluctantly, her hand going up almost absentmindedly to trace a line along his face, from the temple to the chin. ‘I was angry with myself, too, for being so stupid, but I was even more angry with you, because I blamed you for making me feel... the way I felt,’ she finished with an awkward giggle, her fingers hovering over his Adam’s apple. 

‘Angry?’ Gilbert found it hard to focus on what she was saying when she was touching him like this, so he reached up and gently drew her hand away, kissed it quickly, and held it down. ‘What do you mean?’ 

Anne pouted, making it hard for Gilbert to refrain from kissing her on the mouth again. However, he knew there was some explaining to be done before he could indulge in the less complicated pleasures of Anne’s company once more. 

‘When you said how nobody need worry about my being alone with you,’ she informed his shirt collar, momentarily unable, for some reason, to meet his gaze. 

‘But... how did that made you angry? I just wanted to let you know you were safe with me,’ he said uncertainly, not sure what she was driving at. 

Anne heaved an impatient sigh. Great. Now he would know what a terrible person she really was. He would know that she was, after all, nothing better than an ordinary, dirty-minded orphan. ‘It doesn’t matter, Gil. I don’t want you to think badly of me – worse than you probably do already – because of some stupid thoughts I had. And it’s not exactly like I could help having them either, and...’ she stopped, for Gilbert’s other hand flew up to her chin and made her tilt her head up so that he could see her face. His eyes were troubled and searching. 

‘Anne, what are you even talking about? I, think badly of you? How do you even get these kind of silly ideas into that beautiful head of yours? No, this is serious,’ he added, seeing her scoff at his words. ‘I never could think badly of you. Don’t you understand that yet? You mean the world to me. I’ve been thinking about you pretty constantly for the past few years, and not once have I thought of you in any other than superlative terms. Is that clear?’ Anne nodded mutely, Gilbert’s words making her feel at once elated and even more ashamed. ‘So now tell me what silliness it is that is troubling you, so that we can talk it out and have it off your mind,’ he continued, kissing the tip of her nose. 

‘Can we sit down first?’ Anne’s voice was rather weak, but Gilbert was glad to see that she no longer looked quite so miserable as before. ‘The position I’m currently in is not conductive to logical conversation,’ she added as Gilbert made an unhappy face. He liked the way Anne was trapped between him and the tree trunk, and was kind of sorry to lose the advantage of knowing that she had, at least temporarily, no means of running away from him. However, he was bent on dispelling once and for all whatever nonsensical fears Anne had managed to conjure up for herself regarding their relationship. He moved a little to the side, and instantly Anne found herself missing the feeling of his body pressed flush against hers. I am mad, she thought. And it was all Gilbert’s doing.

She sat down cross-legged on the grass, and patted the spot opposite her. Gilbert obeyed her gesture, and when they were settled comfortably facing each other he leant in towards her a little and asked with a rakish grin, ‘May I hold your hand, miss, or do you think you’re going to find that too distracting?’ 

He instantly regretted his foolish words, for Anne swatted his outstretched hand away, and folded her arms across her chest protectively. Gilbert’s crestfallen expression made her smile in spite of herself, but she made no move to reach out to him. 

‘Do you want to know why I was angry, or don’t you?’ she snapped, or rather tried to, for her voice sounded far less assured than she wished. Gilbert nodded, his expression back to serious. ‘Well,’ Anne went on, looking down at the thin strip of grass separating his knees from hers, ‘When you said – and I know that you meant well, but I just can’t help the way my mind works, can I? – well, when you told me I needn’t be afraid of being alone with you it made me angry, because I thought you were giving me to understand you – that you could never have any... well, any romantic intentions concerning me,’ she finished lamely, picking at the long green blades with her slender fingers. ‘And I was angry with you even more than with myself, because lately it has sometimes seemed to me that you were encouraging me to think that you did perhaps feel about me more you felt about any other girl, and then I thought perhaps you were just teasing and I was reading too much into what you meant as mere jokes, and...’ 

That was it. He could listen to this cascade of nonsense no longer, and besides, the way Anne’s long brown lashes threw little shadows onto her freckled cheeks when she kept her eyes down like this was positively enticing. Without a second thought, Gilbert reached out over what little space separated them and pulled Anne into another kiss, less tentative than the previous one. He felt her arms wrap around his neck and pull him to her, so that eventually she was lying down on the grass and he was hovering above her with his elbows propped on both sides of her face, his tongue exploring her mouth and his teeth grazing her lower lip. Anne’s hips shifted beneath him, so that his knee rested now between hers, and she let out a small, surprised gasp. Two thoughts crossed his mind simultaneously: that the clothes Anne had on were a ridiculous, utter superfluity and nuisance, and that he must stop whatever he was doing right away. 

With an effort of will he never knew until now that he had it in him to exert, he pulled away from Anne’s sweet, sweet lips and disentangled himself from her skirts. He propped himself on his elbow by her side and looked down at her as she lay breathless, her hair a mess, her eyes looking into his with such wondrous and clear expression of love in their liquid depths that he felt he ought to fall down on his knees and offer thanks to whatever powers up above decreed that Anne Shirley should look at him, Gilbert Blythe, like that.

‘Do you think,’ he asked hoarsely, brushing stray strands of coppery hair away from her glowing face, ‘that this is something I would do if I felt towards you just like towards any other girl I know? And just so you know, I’ve been wanting to do this to you – and to no one else but you – for quite some time now,’ he added, smirking down at her, and basking in the way her cheeks grew red and her eyelids fluttered momentarily shut. Her next words, however, knocked the will to smirk out of him.

‘And I’ve wanted you to do this to me,’ she said quietly, her eyes flitting back to his, and her words sounding like divine melody to his ears. ‘I’ve wanted it so much and I was so very much ashamed of that want. That’s what I was so reluctant to admit a moment ago. I was simply afraid of what you’d think of me,’ she said in a whisper, the light in her eyes momentarily dimmed. 

He bent down to her ear and breathed, ‘Anne, I think you are the most wonderful thing ever to happen to me. It’s like I’ve dreamt you up. I love you so much I barely know what I’m saying and doing around you anymore. And what you said just now – about your wanting to kiss me the way I’ve wanted it – you have no idea how happy that makes me.’ He pressed a lingering kiss to her earlobe and drew away again, very much against his will, but in compliance with his better judgement. 

‘Anne, I want you to promise me that you’ll always – always, no matter what – tell me about things that trouble you. Because nothing you think and nothing you do could ever make me think badly of you or in any way change the way I feel about you. Do you promise?’ 

Gilbert’s tone was serious, his gaze level, and Anne knew he really meant what he said. The things he said and the things he did to her made her heart swell up so much it was a wonder there was anything but her heart left of her. She sat up, took one of his hands between both of hers, and pressed it quickly to her lips. Then she lay her cheek against it and said in a voice so soft it was barely more than a breath: 

‘I love you, Gilbert Blythe. And I promise.’ 

To her utter surprise, she saw what looked like tears glisten in the dark brown eyes that seemed always to look straight through her and into her soul. Then he laughed a short, uncertain laughter, shaking his head a little as if in disbelief. 

‘Can you repeat that?’ 

‘You’ve heard me perfectly well,’ she said, a little hurt that he could possibly doubt her words. 

‘It’s not that I don’t believe you,’ Gilbert put in quickly, and Anne was once again taken aback by his ability to read her so easily. ‘But I want to memorise the sound of you saying this.’ 

‘I love you, you idiot,’ she repeated with a nervous giggle. ‘And I am going to tell you this whenever I see you, so that there’s no need for you to memorise anything. Oh Gil, it’s _you _who’s crying _now _.’____

____Gilbert’s strong arms pulled her to him, and she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. She felt his hand stroke her hair gently and a shiver ran down her spine. ‘Will you marry me, Anne?’ he breathed into her hair._ _ _ _

____For a moment, Anne was perfectly still, listening to the erratic thumping of Gilbert’s heart beneath his shirt. As he held her to him he felt her shiver again. He wished very much he could see her face, but he was suddenly afraid to move. What if all this was just a dream? What if, when he had moved, he would find himself back in his bed, alone, with nothing but his futile dreams of Anne to get him through the night?_ _ _ _

____‘Anne?’ he forced himself to say eventually, and she lifted her head and faced him. Her eyes were an answer in themselves, but he needed to hear her say it._ _ _ _

____‘I will,’ she whispered, her lips trembling. ‘I will, I will, I will,’ she pressed a small kiss to his lips with every repetition of the phrase. He rested his forehead against hers, drawing in a deep breath._ _ _ _

____‘Is this a dream, Gil?’ Anne asked, her eyes closed._ _ _ _

____He pressed a kiss to each vein-streaked eyelid. ‘Yes, darling,’ he hummed against her ear, ‘and we’re dreaming it together.’_ _ _ _

____***_ _ _ _

____After that neither of them spoke for a long time. They lay side by side on the grass, Anne’s head on Gilbert’s chest, his hand stroking her hair. She was so still and her breathing was so quiet and calm that he thought she must have fallen asleep. He breathed in the scent of her hair and tried his best to get his mind around the fact that he, Gilbert Blythe, was lying there with his arms wrapped Anne Shirley’s slender body, and that the same Anne had just moments ago confessed she loved him and consented to be his wife._ _ _ _

____It seemed simply unreal._ _ _ _

____From beyond the fields, the sound of the church bells tolling the hour reached Gilbert’s ears. As the last chime died away in the shimmering July air, Anne’s slumbering consciousness registered dimly the fact that it had tolled seven._ _ _ _

____She sat up bolt upright, her eyes huge, her face panicked. For a moment, she stared at Gilbert with large, sleep-clouded, uncomprehending eyes. What was going on? Was she still dreaming? Had she gone totally distraught? Had she fallen asleep in the sun and got a sunstroke?_ _ _ _

____Then Gilbert smiled his most beautiful smile, the one that was reserved for Anne and Anne alone, and she remembered. She remembered she was now Gilbert Blythe’s fiancée._ _ _ _

____With a peal of relieved laughter that sounded to him like silver bells tinkling, she bent down and placed on his smiling lips the ghost of a sweet, lingering kiss._ _ _ _

____‘I have forgotten for a second,’ she whispered against his cheek. ‘It was horrifying. I thought I had gone crazy.’_ _ _ _

____‘I know I have gone crazy,’ he replied, catching her lips with his. ‘I am crazily in love with you, Anne Shirley.’ He deepened the kiss, and felt Anne’s body become as wonderfully pliable and soft in his hands as it had the two previous times he had kissed her. To his infinite regret, she pulled away with a small sigh and sat back, holding him at an arm’s length._ _ _ _

____‘I have to go, Gil,’ she said unwillingly. ‘I was supposed to be home an hour ago.’_ _ _ _

____For a moment, they looked speechlessly into each other’s eyes. Finally, Anne sighed again and made a movement to get up. Gilbert snapped out of his trance and scrambled hastily to his feet, putting his hand out to Anne and helping her up. She gave his hand a squeeze and smiled wistfully up at him._ _ _ _

____‘I don’t want to leave you,’ she said quietly, her gaze intense. ‘I feel that I never want to be away from you again. Don’t you think you could somehow manage to smuggle me into your room? I don’t take much space, not more than a little gray mouse. I would just sit tight and quiet in a corner and look at you. You’d hardly notice.’_ _ _ _

____Gilbert’s eyes sparkled and he pulled her into a tight embrace. ‘I am rather certain I would notice your presence in my room very much, love,’ he chuckled into her hair, but there was a deeper note to his voice which made Anne shiver and press herself closer to his chest. ‘See? You’re cold again. Do you want me to go with you and help explain things to Marilla?’ he added in a normal voice, and Anne felt it was safe to look him in the face again._ _ _ _

____‘Not today,’ she answered, wrinkling her forehead. ‘It’s not that I don’t want to tell her – I want to very much, but I feel so...’ she pressed a quick kiss to his chin, ‘overwhelmed today that I think I could hardly talk sense about anything.’_ _ _ _

____Gilbert gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. ‘I understand. I’ll walk you home.’_ _ _ _

____‘No,’ she said quickly, feeling her face get red again. ‘If you do, I won’t be able to say goodbye the way I want to. The proper way.’ She wound her arms around Gilbert’s neck and kissed him deeply on the mouth._ _ _ _

____‘Meet me here tomorrow afternoon?’ he breathed against her lips. ‘I’ll come as soon as I have finished work around the house. Is that all right?’_ _ _ _

____Anne nodded, and kissed him lingeringly one last time. Then she spun around on her heel and disappeared between the trees. It was not until she was within sight of Green Gables that she remembered she had not had time to pick any flowers._ _ _ _

____As for Gilbert, he was so drunk on the wonderful events of that glorious afternoon that it was not until his eyes snapped open at 2 a.m. that he realised he had forgotten to ask Anne whom she was talking to herself about the night before in Mr Barry’s orchard._ _ _ _


	4. woven in the fabric of your tapestry / cover me in honeysuckle memories (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bliss continues; if anybody deserves it, Anne & Gilbert do :D

To Anne’s infinite dismay, she was waken up very early next morning by Marilla, who decided it was high time linen was washed. Consequently, Anne had been washing, hanging, taking down and ironing sheets, bedclothes and tablecloths since what seemed like daybreak, and now, at five in the afternoon, she was so exhausted she could barely stand straight. At first the thought that Gilbert would be waiting for her in vain until he got sick of it and went back home, in all probability thinking that she regretted and meant to take back all she had said yesterday, made her anxious to the point of jitteriness. Now, however, she was so overcome by sheer physical weariness that she simply did not have the spare energy required to worry – also, a part of her knew all along that Gilbert would wait as long as it took, and if she still failed to show up he would simply come to Green Gables looking for her. 

Anne carefully folded the sheet she had finished ironing and laid it away, automatically reaching out to the basket standing by her side to take out another one. When her fingers met with nothing but the wickerwork of the basket itself, she felt a wave of relief, bringing with it a store of renewed energy fuelled by anticipation, surge within her. How could she have thought for even a moment she’d be too tired to go meet Gilbert? She felt as though she could fly all the way to their meeting-place – to that blessed, blessed tree that had been the single witness of their mutual declarations of love. 

‘Marilla, I’ve finished!’ she called out, picking up her hat hastily lest her adoptive mother should appear from the direction of the kitchen and try to stop her. ‘I’m going out for a little air!’

She shot out of the house without waiting for a reply, and was across the front yard and out of the gate in a flash. As she approached the spot where she and Gilbert had said and, well, done so many new and unfamiliar and delicious things the afternoon before she felt sudden anxiety grip her stomach. What if things were now to become awkward and uncomfortable between them? If she no longer felt free to be herself, her real, unconstrained self, around him? If yesterday had destroyed the friendship they had both worked so hard to build? If...

Deep in all these melancholy thoughts, she caught sight of Gilbert, sitting with his back to the memorable willow tree. His eyes were closed, and his chest was raising and falling with a slow, rhythmical movement. As soon as Anne saw him, she knew all her fears had been completely unreasonable. This was the same Gilbert she had always known, the Gilbert around whom she could never feel bored or constrained or uncomfortable. With a sudden inrush of pure, unadulterated joy, she skipped up to where he sat dozing and started showering his calm, beloved face with feather-like kisses. It felt so perfectly natural and right to do just that that she started laughing, and Gilbert’s eyes finally snapped open.

Anne sat back on her heels and smiled into his eyes, which were darker than usually with his recent sleep. He blinked, taking in the sight of her. Had she really been kissing him just a moment before or had he dreamt it up? 

‘Do you enjoy being waken up like this?’ Anne asked quietly, snuggling up to him. He put one arm round her waist gingerly and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘If you don’t, I’m sorry, but I just felt so happy when I saw you and you were still my Gilbert that I just couldn’t stop myself.’

‘Anne,’ he croaked, his voice rusty from sleep. She laughed again; he could feel her laugh as she lay pressed close to his side, and for a moment he thought his heart might burst with happiness. He cleared his throat and started anew. ‘You are a dream come true, Anne,’ he kissed her sun-warmed hair. ‘I love you and I wish I could always wake up the way I did just now.’ 

‘I love you too,’ she murmured against his chest. ‘I love the fact that you are just the same as before and that I am still myself, too.’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked uncomprehendingly, sitting up a little so that she had to face him. 

‘It’s just a silly notion that I had as I was coming here,’ she said a bit unwillingly. ‘I was afraid things would have changed between us now that we’ve told each other we love each other. And then I saw you and I knew I could never feel... wrong or awkward or anything really unpleasant around you. And I was so relieved I just had to kiss you.’

‘Well, kiss me well and proper, then,’ he bent down to her mouth and for a few moments they were silent, discovering anew the pleasure of lips on lips and tongue on tongue. Then Gilbert pulled back a little and looked Anne in the eyes with an amused expression. ‘You know, Anne, I couldn’t very well change all of a sudden because I've told you I love you. I’ve loved you for so long now it feels like the most natural thing in the world to do, and I’ve been trying to tell you that for what seems like ages.’

‘Yee-es...’ Anne mused, tracing the line of his cheekbone with her finger. ‘I think it was really the fact that for the last few months I’ve been trying so hard to pretend that I didn’t care about you, and so I had to keep so many things back when I was around you. And when I saw you lying here and realised I didn’t have to suppress the urge to go up to you and kiss you it was just the best feeling in the world.’

‘Keep what things back?’ he asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

‘For example, this,’ she took his face between her hands and followed with her lips the line she had been previously tracing with her finger. Then she moved lower, to his jawline and his throat. Gilbert moaned quietly, and pulled her face back up to his lips. 

‘Don’t start out by distracting me,’ he breathed. ‘I’ve got something serious to ask you.’

‘But I’ve already said yes, Gil.’ She looked at him in surprise. ‘I mean, I can always say it again, but...’

Gilbert chuckled, placed a last quick peck on her lips, and drew a little away, sitting up straight against the trunk of the tree. Anne pulled herself up as well, sitting cross-legged and smoothing her skirts over her knees. Then she rested her chin on her hands and looked at him with an expectant expression on her face. At the moment, she reminded Gilbert so very much of the fourteen-year-old girl in pigtails who tried to impress their teacher and outwit him in class that he couldn’t help putting out his hand to where a long coppery braid was slung over her right shoulder. 

‘I feel like I should pull it,’ he remarked, curling the loose strands at its end round his fingers. Anne pouted and swatted his hand away.

‘You wanted to talk,’ she reminded him in an peremptory tone.

‘Yes,’ Gilbert cleared his throat again. ‘I know you don’t approve of my listening in on your private conversations—‘

‘Well, that doesn’t really matter now, Gil,’ Anne interrupted. ‘The only thing I was afraid you might overhear was me saying I loved you. Now that I can say it to your face, you can listen in on whatever you please. I’ve nothing to hide from you.’ The complete lack of reserve with which she looked at him as she said this made Gilbert’s heart swell in his chest. He took her hand and kissed it gently. 

‘You can listen in on my conversations with other people as well,’ he smiled. ‘They’re usually about something fascinating, like me and Bash talking about what needs mending around the farm, or bemoaning the low price of the crops.’ Anne crinkled up her nose, and he kissed her hand again and kept it locked in his as he continued. ‘Well, what I wanted to ask you about really was something I heard you say the day of Diana and Jerry’s party.’

‘I’m afraid I must have said many stupid things that day, although it seems to me that on the whole I managed to keep my tongue exceptionally well around you.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘But the upshot of any weird thing you’ve ever heard me say is probably that I was annoyed by the way you made me feel things I didn’t dare admit even to myself. No,’ she held up her free hand to stop him from leaning in to kiss her. ‘Tell me first. Kiss me later.’

‘Are you always going to make me stick to this rule?’ he smirked, watching her blush, his eyes dark and glistening. 

‘Only when you’re all mysterious about what you want to ask me the way you are now. You’re really taking forever getting at it, Gil, and I hate to remind you, but you’re most probably simply wasting precious time.’

Gilbert frowned. Anne’s small hand pressed against the fabric of his shirt seemed to radiate heat that permeated his whole body. 

‘I heard you talking to yourself,’ he said, determined to get it over with. ‘You were talking about someone who was making you feel bad and whom you wished you had never met. Whom did you mean? Because you know, I can’t allow people to go around making my fiancée miserable.’

Anne’s eyes widened in surprise. She withdrew her hand from his grasp and asked tentatively, ‘And you really have no idea whom I meant?’

‘Was it Billy tormenting you again? Or Charlie? Or some other stupid—‘ 

‘No, Gil,’ Anne had a hard time keeping a straight face now. ‘It was neither Billy nor Charlie. It was someone else, someone I was furious with because I had the feeling he was constantly trying to make life as difficult for me as possible.’

‘Well?’ he demanded.

‘Well?’ she mimicked. ‘How about you let me take care of punishing him for his ungentlemanly behaviour right now?’ With those words, she leant forward and pressed her lips to his again, tangling her hands in his hair. Gilbert fell back before her, and as her sweet weight settled across his chest all thought evaporated momentarily from his head. It was just Anne now, Anne kissing his jawline, Anne nibbling at his earlobe, Anne’s fingers scratching his scalp and the nape of his neck. 

‘You mean it was me you meant?’ he managed to gasp and she pulled away, looking down at him with glittering eyes, her dishevelled hair a glorious halo round her glowing face.

‘Yes, Gil,’ she murmured, kissing him sweetly on the lips. ‘It was you. Always, always, always, it has been you. I told you yesterday. I was angry with you because you made me love you more every time I looked at you. I didn’t mean that part about wishing I hadn’t met you, though. I can’t imagine what it would be like not to know what your lips taste like.’

This was the moment, Gilbert decided. He had to do it now, because if he allowed Anne to continue kissing him like this and saying such things to him he would probably die of heart attack before he had managed to build up the nerve to do what he had resolved to do the night before, after his mind had cleared a bit and he was capable of sorting things out in a roughly reasonable way. Accordingly, he put both his hands on Anne’s arms, holding her a little away from him. She pouted, and he pressed a hasty kiss to the corner of her lips.

‘You keep interrupting us, Gil. You’re no fun.’ Anne made as if to move away from him, but he caught firm hold of her wrist.

‘It’s just that there’s one more thing I wanted to tell you,’ he said, getting up and pulling her to her feet as well. She scanned his face, wishing she was as good at reading his expressions as he was at reading hers. All she could see now was that he had the serious look on his face that usually went along with the tone of voice which inevitably made her shiver. 

‘You’re making me nervous,’ he said, smiling, and his tone was exactly that special kind of deep and low. Anne was trying to tell herself she was prepared for it this time and that she would not tremble, but she did all the same. It was simply that when he was looking at her in that particular way she could not hold his gaze without feeling positively indecent. And he had the cheek to say that it was she who made him nervous!

‘Really, Gilbert, it’s hardly fair!’ Anne tried to sound indignant, but her voice came out small and weak. ‘Do something about your eyes right now or else I’m not talking to you.’

‘What do you mean, my eyes?’ he sounded bewildered, and thankfully his voice was back to normal.

‘Well, you tell me! It’s all very well for you to laugh, but somehow I don’t find it funny when you purposefully make me make a fool of myself in front of you over and over again!’

Gilbert simply stared. What on earth was Anne’s point? 

‘All right, never mind,’ Anne said with a giggle, disarmed by his bemused expression. ‘Go on with what you had to say.’

He tugged at her hand and pulled her a step closer, interlocking his fingers with hers.

‘Anne,’ he said, looking deep into her limpid eyes. ‘I know you’ve already said yes. But yesterday it all happened so fast, and I’ve been thinking, and I want to do this again, properly.’ 

Anne’s giggles died on her lips as she watched him get down on one knee in front of her. He let go of her hand and pulled out something that sparkled in the golden afternoon sunlight – she couldn’t see properly what it was, for her eyes were full of tears. Again. 

‘My own dearest, loveliest, most exceptional, beloved Anne,’ Gilbert said, his tone shaky, but his eyes earnest and steady on hers. ‘Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’

Anne swallowed, her throat so tight no words would come out. She stretched out her hand towards him almost blindly, and felt him slip the ring onto it. She had expected the metal to be cold, but it was warm, warm with the warmth of Gilbert’s touch. The thought made her sob out loud, and she tugged at Gilbert’s hand to make him get up. He did, putting his arms around her and holding her to him so gently she sobbed again. She stood up on tiptoe and put her lips to his ear.

‘I will, Gil. And will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?’ she whispered, and the thing she would never have thought possible happened: she felt Gilbert shiver. Gilbert, the strongest, most resilient, level-headed person she knew shivered because of something she, Anne Shirley, had said. 

His lips were on hers, hot and urgent. ‘Say that again,’ he breathed. 

‘Husband,’ she placed a small kiss in the corner of his mouth. ‘Husband, husband, husband. Gilbert Blythe, my future husband.’


	5. woven in the fabric of your tapestry / cover me in honeysuckle memories (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a big thank you to everyone who read, left cudos & commented on this ridiculous load of fluffiness!
> 
> special thanks to MeggieB, whose timely comment made me remember Anne & Gil are supposed to tell Marilla about the fact they got engaged :D

Gilbert kissed her, and it was so sweet and slow that Anne’s knees buckled into his.

‘Steady,’ he smiled, and Anne hoped the pure joy she saw illuminating his features would stay branded into her memory forever. ‘You haven’t even looked at the ring yet.’

‘Oh, the ring.’ The surprised, absent-minded way in which she repeated the word made Gilbert chuckle. 

‘You know, Anne, I should have thought you of all people would appreciate the romance of being given an engagement ring a bit more,’ he teased. Anne’s cheeks burnt at his words, but she looked him unreservedly straight in the eyes and said in a quiet, thoughtful voice,

‘I do appreciate it, Gilbert, I truly do, it’s just– I love you so much and you’ve made me so happy during the past two days that the ring is just... well, I can’t help feeling it’s just a ring. I shall treasure it, since it comes from you and is an emblem of your love, but what counts to me more than anything else is the fact that you actually love me enough to be willing to spend the rest of your life with me.’ Anne’s whole face lit up, as though she’d only just realised the truth of that statement. ‘Isn’t that simply too wonderful, Gil? We get to spend the rest of our lives together.’ 

Gilbert was speechless. As Anne bent her head down to look at the ring which he had slipped onto her finger, he pressed a delicate kiss to the top of her head. Anne’s talking about their future together with that radiant look on her face made him want to sweep her up into his arms, carry her to the church, force the parson to perform the necessary rites, and thus make sure, once and for all, of having her bound to him by an irrevocable vow. The thought that such a course of action was not an option and they would not be able to get married for at least two more years made his heart feel heavy.

‘Gilbert,’ Anne looked up, her forehead puckered in worry. ‘This is the loveliest ring I’ve ever seen, and it shall always remain my most treasured possession. But all the same, you shouldn’t have bought it. I am sure it must have cost you an enormous sum, and there are more important things you need money for right now. Promise me you’ll never again be extravagant on my account.’

Gilbert brought her hand up to his lips. ‘I will promise nothing of the kind, Anne. When will you finally understand that there isn’t and never will be anything more important in my life than you? To me, you are the nearest and dearest person in the whole world.’

‘I know that,’ replied Anne, her lips trembling, her eyes wide and shining. ‘And you are dearer to me than anyone else too, Gil. And that’s precisely why we don’t need this kind of thing – because we _know _.’__

__He kissed the finger on which his ring was lodged. ‘Anne, as much as I appreciate and love hearing you say all this, you needn’t trouble yourself about the ring any more. I didn’t buy it. It used to belong to my grandmother.’_ _

__Anne raised her eyebrows and looked at the ring again. Gilbert waited for her response impatiently, afraid that perhaps she wouldn’t be happy about wearing what was, after all, a second-hand ring._ _

__When she looked back up at him her eyes were filled with tears._ _

__‘Anne, we really can’t go on like this,’ he laughed a small, anxious laugh. ‘I seem to keep making you cry. Soon you’ll have cried your heart out, and what will you love me with then?’ Gilbert tried to keep his tone light, but he was seriously nervous about her reaction._ _

__‘But, Gil,’ Anne stammered out, bringing the ringed hand up to his cheek. ‘Don’t you understand? Two days ago I believed firmly no one would ever want to marry a bad-tempered, penniless orphan girl like me. Least of all a man who could have his pick of beautiful, rich young women positively falling at his feet—‘_ _

__‘Anne, for God’s sake—‘ he put in vehemently, but she laid her hand across his mouth to silence him._ _

__‘And now,’ she continued, choking on tears and laughter all at once. ‘And now I am wearing a family heirloom engagement ring given me by Gilbert Blythe. Wouldn’t that make you cry if you were me?’_ _

__Gilbert took hold of her hand and kissed it, and then said, his gaze earnest and his voice full of concern, ‘Anne, how many times more will I have to tell you that you mean the world to me before you truly believe it? I never wanted any of the other girls – if there are any such, which I seriously doubt, for I had no looks to spare on anyone but you and your word in that matter is liable to be an exaggeration,’ he added drolly, and was glad to see Anne smile at his words. ‘I mean it, Anne. You deserve much more than I can ever hope to be able to give you, so stop behaving as though you were some kind of damaged goods, because you’re nothing of the kind. You are yourself, and that’s all that’s ever mattered to me and to everyone else who loves you. I know all this is only so many words to you now, but I plan to spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that it is true.’ He tilted her chin up and looked her deeply in the eyes. ‘Are we clear on that point, Anne Blythe-to-be?’_ _

__Her eyes lit up. ‘I like the sound of that.’_ _

__‘Don’t digress, miss. Answer the question.’_ _

__‘Yes, Mr Blythe,’ Anne sighed with feigned exasperation. Gilbert was relieved to see no more tears were coming, at least for the moment. ‘We are. I promise. I seem to keep promising things to you lately, don’t I?’ she added with a thoughtful smile._ _

__‘Well, it’s perfectly fine by me,’ he replied, looking at the ring which sparkled on her slender hand. ‘Because I know you, and I know you always keep your promises.’_ _

__They stayed quiet for a moment, Gilbert playing absent-mindedly with Anne’s ring and Anne looking down at their intertwined fingers._ _

__‘It’s getting late, Gil,’ she whispered eventually._ _

__Another moment of silence as he looked into her eyes. Despite her best efforts to the contrary, Anne shivered again, this time much more perceptibly than before._ _

__‘You’re cold,’ said Gilbert, snapping out of his reverie. ‘I’m sorry, Anne. I ought to have got you home long ago. Let’s—‘_ _

__‘No, I’m not,’ Anne knew she would probably regret this, but she felt that if Gilbert mistakenly assumed she was cold one more time she would scream with temper. He looked surprised at her sharp tone. ‘Don’t act innocent all of a sudden, Gilbert Blythe. You know perfectly well it’s you and not the cold that makes me do this.’_ _

__‘Do what? Tremble?’ he sounded genuinely bewildered._ _

__‘Yes, tremble! I can’t help it, that’s the worst part. I’ve tried to, but my body just won’t listen. When you look at me like that, or when you talk in that— that special kind of voice...’ Anne bit her lip, looking down, afraid Gilbert would think her childish. ‘Well, there is just no helping it, and that’s that. You’re welcome to laugh if you want to.’_ _

__‘Anne, look at me.’_ _

__‘No.’_ _

__‘Anne.’_ _

__She looked up. His gaze was more intense than ever. She felt her knees go weak. Gilbert put an arm around her waist to steady her. She could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of her dress, and it seemed to her that it electrified her whole body._ _

__‘Anne, when I look at you like that it’s not because I want to annoy you. It’s because I am admiring you and imagining out future together. And it’s not in the least a laughing matter to me. It’s a matter that occupies my thoughts all the time, except when I have to forcibly focus on something else. Do you believe me?’_ _

__Anne nodded mutely, reaching up to kiss him. ‘It doesn’t change the fact that sometimes you do make feel... well, I suppose shy is the word,’ she murmured, blushing._ _

__‘And I can’t pretend I don’t like it, because I do. Very much.’ He kissed her so suddenly and so hard she gasped in surprise. ‘That’s how much,’ he smirked, pulling away. ‘But I don’t find it funny, Anne. I find it... exciting. And enchanting.’_ _

__Anne pressed her flushed face to his chest and sighed deeply. ‘I really have to go now, Gil.’ she said, breathing in his scent. ‘But I do hate it so. It seems such a shame to be forced to part for so long and only spend whatever little bits of the day we manage to snatch away. If I could have it all my own way, I would have us just live together until we can afford to get married, so that we might always work and rest in each other’s company. And say goodnight instead of goodbye. Wouldn’t you like that, Gil?’_ _

__Gilbert thought that he would love it, but at the same time he wondered whether it might not be advisable to ask Anne not to say such things unless her plan was to drive him to distraction. He kissed the top of her head, which was all he had access to at the moment, and said playfully,_ _

__‘But isn’t that exactly what being married is all about? It would render marriages unnecessary, I’m afraid, if it was socially acceptable to just live together whenever people felt like it, wouldn’t it?’_ _

__‘It wouldn’t, because we would not be...’ Anne’s voice was so small he could barely hear her, ‘well, married. We wouldn’t do anything that’s improper for people who aren’t. We’d just get to be around each other more. It would make waiting easier.’_ _

__Gilbert doubted very much whether going to sleep with the consciousness that Anne was lying undressed in her bed in a room next door to his would make anything easier for him. He pressed one more kiss to her hair, and then took hold of her hand, making her step away so that he could see her face. She smiled at him so sweetly he almost felt guilty for his thoughts._ _

__‘I’m not sure it would really be such a good idea, love. You see, I should probably do something stupid and make you hate me. I am afraid you’re overestimating my power of will where sticking to the rules of propriety around Anne Shirley is concerned,’ he said with a crooked grin._ _

__‘Nonsense,’ Anne shot back with assurance. He quirked an eyebrow at her. ‘Don’t you see,’ she went on, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, ‘you’re the one who pulled away first twice today, even though I wanted you very much not to.’_ _

__Gilbert shook his head. ‘That’s because I had important things to discuss with you, not because I wanted to stop kissing you.’_ _

__‘No, Gil,’ she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. ‘It’s because I trust you to stop when you think we’d better. I let myself go because I know you’d never take advantage of that.’ He shook his head again, and Anne pouted. ‘It’s true, Gilbert. I know you, and I know I can trust you implicitly. That’s why I said earlier I could never feel wrong or improper when I’m with you.’_ _

__‘I love you, Anne,’ he replied simply, barely able to speak through the lump that had formed in his throat as he took in her words. ‘I will hope and pray never to let you down.’_ _

__She pressed a quick kiss to his chin. ‘Not possible.’ Her lips moved down to his throat, hovering over it. She kissed his Adam’s apple lightly, sending shivers down his spine, and then drew away giggling. When he open his eyes she was already a few steps away._ _

__‘Anne—‘_ _

__She blew him a kiss and said laughingly, ‘Perhaps you’ll want to reconsider my idea of moving in together right away. Then you’d get to tuck me in to sleep.’_ _

__Gilbert caught up with her in a few long strides._ _

__‘You’re so busy being a tease you seem to have forgotten about something, miss Shirley,’ he said, blocking her way with a rakish grin on his face. Anne raised her eyebrows sceptically, folding her arms across her chest. ‘I’m willing to wait as long as you wish before telling Marilla about us, but don’t you think she might ask for an explanation when she notices this unimportant little detail?’ he took Anne’s right hand in his and held it up in front of her face, pointing to the ring he had given her._ _

__Anne’s face registered genuine surprise. Then she burst out laughing._ _

__‘Gilbert, you may not believe me, but I honestly forgot we’ve only been engaged two days and nobody knows about it yet. I should have walked right into the house as unconcerned as ever, and when Marilla asked me about the ring I should probably have said, ‘what ring?’. It fits my finger so perfectly it seems to me it’s always been meant to be there,’ she added, smiling sweetly up at him._ _

__‘Well, strictly speaking, not exactly always,’ Gilbert said, grinning down at her. ‘But for the last five years, yes. I’d decided it was going to be your engagement ring not long after Bash and Mary’s wedding day.’_ _

__‘Five years!—‘ Anne pretended to be shocked, but the sparkle in her eyes gave her away. ‘Why, Gilbert Blythe, we were both just kids back then!’_ _

__‘Yes,’ he whispered, putting his arms around her waist and drawing her close. ‘Very foolish and stubborn kids, weren’t we? And lovestuck, too,’ he added, kissing the tip of her nose._ _

__‘Lovestuck? Who exactly was lovestruck?’ Anne murmured against his cheek, the smell of his skin overwhelming her all over again. ‘I certainly wasn’t, for one.’_ _

__‘Are you now?’ Gilbert’s breath tickled her neck as he whispered the question into her ear._ _

__For an answer, she pressed her lips to his._ _

__‘I’ll take that for a yes,’ Gilbert chuckled, breaking away and lacing his fingers through hers. ‘Ready to confess to Marilla and face the consequences of your actions?’_ _

__‘Like this,’ Anne pointed to their interlocked hands, her crystalline gray eyes meeting his earnest brown ones through the slowly falling summer dusk, ‘Always.’_ _


End file.
